Temporary

As good as it gets, temporarily, I know I still have a decision to make. We have great moments sometimes but I am reminded quickly of the scale and how imbalanced they are. You have caused me more harm than good. I will not let this continue because you have become comfortable in this twisted cycle. The countdown has begun and it is time for me to go. A decision has to be made. I will be leaving and I wish you well but there will be no more abuse.Whether it be verbal/physical/emotional (mental) I have to go. Someone has to break the cycle. Break the generational curse.

Another World

Redd

Hello! I saw a post that you recently posted in a group and I want to say I am sorry you had to go through that. For me I find that just when I think I have had it so bad Someone comes along that makes my ordeals seem like chicken shit. Not that what happened to me is any less painful but I always keep in mind I am still alive and well, could be doing better, and it could have been worse. I spent most of my life blaming others and then realized the people that should care, that I wanted to give a damn will never understand or never care. Then I am hit with another realization and that was they may have had to go through a similar experience and have yet to heal. How you gonna help someone else heal and you still need healing? So they could not help me. I needed to help myself and till this day I am doing my shadow work. I am still as Iyanla says "doing my work" and it does take time. It does not happen over night. I am just now allowing myself to feel my feelings and it feels great. I deal with shit still to this day from a twisted ass family who just don't get it and never will and I am about to embark on a new journey that means leaving them behind. I have to do what I have to do and not just for me but my little one to. If you really want to get down to the core there is a young woman on youtube named Spica who I saw as one of our mutual friends. You should utilize her skills with tarot to help you on the road to your healing. Love & Light to you sis.

48 Laws Of Power

Originally I planned to post my thoughts on the book titled: The 48 laws of power here but then I decided to make an entirely new site. If you would like to check it out click the link below or if you are unable to click then copy and paste. See you there!

Http://www.the48lawsofpower.wordpress.com

Procrastination

Postponed

So, in a very recent post I told you all that I wanted to start the 100 day challenge. Instead of starting right away I need to prepare myself mentally. I want to start Sunday. I also decided to unplug from most social media. I am actually considering deleting my face-book account. I am often distracted by social media. My friend Lance was right, social media can take over your entire day before you know it. I have to really get ready for this transition and I need to cut a lot of crap out of my life. Social media being the main course of my day. Sad. So sad.  #procrastination at it's finest right here right? But, no. Seriously I really need to prepare for this just like when it is time to start fasting you have to prepare your body and mind for the trip you don't just go surprise stomach nothing for you today. Am I right or is it procrastination? We shall see. 

The again, If I live by the saying "I create my own reality" Then I will not just let life happen to me. 
I have to get to work. Beware of energy vampires that try to stop you and want to you to be stuck in the same low vibration as them and don't want you to move forward. Don't try to identify with them once you go up because the only way from here is up. They will try to keep you in the matrix of life with them because they see no way out. You have been warned.

There She Go!

I see the change. That is how I know I am really growing. I was able to identify the change in this person. When this happens, I know I need to stay away. I really need to stay away. I have just one more month to go and I cant focus on the bullshit. To me it seems as if this person wants more of my attention than my own child. It is sad. I am not here for you to take your anger out on especially when I don't give you attention. Just one more month and we are out of here. I am working on a tight rope and I know I better make the best of it.

Rudy Ja Vu

I found myself drifting off thinking about you again. Not because of Valentines day but every day. You are who I want and I believe God knows the kind of eternal fire we can set off. That kind of union would start ww3. I miss you love. You are what a man should be. I will never find another like you. No one compares. Only 1 Rubin and Ceecee.

Transformation

Death is only the beginning. You never die you just change form. Whether you believe this or not it really does not matter to me. I speak my truth. I speak my belief. I am ready for her when she comes. Whether it be day or night I am ready. Sometimes it is not always leaving the vessel. It could very well mean that it is time for you to leave someone or something behind and die a slow death that is worth it because you need to be made over. You will still carry those memories with you but you don't burn forever so death is the beginning. Be reborn.

100 Day Reality Challenge!

Here I come! I have been needing a little inspiration and I got it when some random videos popped up in the video suggestions on youtube. I am ready to take this challenge. It is perfect for me plus it crosses in with my transition from my current living situation to the new life, new me I am stepping into. This will help me to get to it, stick to it, and be ahead of it. I am starting right away although I have to say I think if I go to bed at 3 in the morning I doubt if I am really going to get up at 7 a.m.
No need in waiting though. I have yet to crack open this new book that I purchased a little over a month ago that got to me about thee weeks ago and 2 other books. I need to stimulate my brain! That was nothing back in the day when  could crack open a 600 page book and be done in less than a week. But now, pssst! So time to get back to what I love and in the future pick up a new hobby. Maybe....knitting? We will see. ♥ ❤ ❥

2015 Mercury Retrograde Dates

January 21 – February 11

May 19 – June 11

September 17 – October 9

Folks...........we got lucky this year. Lol! The waiting game.

True- Art -No- Words- Needed

For those of you who claim to have it hard in life and look at this and say it has no meaning..........
you still have some growing to do. If you say it was boring........live a little more.

How People Make Me Feel Sometimes!

Bitch!

Dawta Go!

Go dawta!

Run for the hills!

Go and clean yourself off. 

Dem on you! I can seeeee!

Go dawta! Grab dem herbs and light dat fire. Go! 

You still standing here?Get bare! Lay them herbs on de fire and wrap yourself in de blanket and be washed of dem demons. 

Be free! They want you and you can't let dem have you. 

You better fight! You have the tools so do what you must do. Save yourself!YOU ARE THE HERO YOU HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR! Go dawta! Go.

REALLY

Urrrrggg!

This toothache is kicking my ass. I am have some healing to do. Seriously! It comes and goes but I need it to stay away. I am not trying to have this happen now. Plus, I just found out that my uncle is in the hospital after a stroke and heart attack. I am so mad because the worst things happen to good people. I am not going to cry any more because it hurts my head and my tooth. I cried long and hard when I got the news because this man has been there through all my life. He lost his daughter when she was seven days old and years later here my little one comes and he took to her so this news is going to upset her but I know I have to sugar coat it a little. I am hoping he will be okay. This man has done a lot for us. He may be uncle by marriage but he is like a father. All will be well because I believe it and so it will be. 

Avoiding Reality

I sit at this computer everyday. I sit here because I am trying to avoid the reality of it all. I am trying to avoid the reality of my situation. I sit here not because I have to but because I choose to. This is how I avoid it all. I wake up and I am glued to it because from the moment I wake up I see the chaos and I choose to ignore it. I hit the ignore button. At least I try to anyways. Dealing with bullshit like everyday and do you know what else I have noticed? It is only getting worse since it is getting closer and closer to that time for me to leave. I need to come up with a better way of handling this shit. I am tired of cleaning up after grown ass people who right after I clean they don't appreciate it and it shows because they go right after me and fuck it all up again. I could have been gone. Hell it's not like the finances were not there but because I had such a good damn heart I had to stroke my filthy fucking ego and stay to help these people who call themselves my family but more and more everyday they show themselves to be my true enemies. My heart at this point is heavier than a feather and I just don't care. I am going to do what I need to do and change up the routine. I am promising myself that from this point forward (and for as long as mercury does not go retrograde) I will work out more and clean up every mess whether I like it or not because having a clean environment is important to me. My happiness is important to me so I will do what is best for me. If you know you have to travel 20 miles, and your car gets 20 mpg, and you fill it up to go only 10 miles...are you going to make it to where you have to go? No! Same thing with your body and your mind. You have to make sure you are okay before everyone else. It sounds selfish but how are they going to be okay if your ass is broke down and your the sole provider? Nourish your mind, body, and soul! Fill up on good things and let everything else fall by the wayside. 

 Namaste!