Temporary

As good as it gets, temporarily, I know I still have a decision to make. We have great moments sometimes but I am reminded quickly of the scale and how imbalanced they are. You have caused me more harm than good. I will not let this continue because you have become comfortable in this twisted cycle. The countdown has begun and it is time for me to go. A decision has to be made. I will be leaving and I wish you well but there will be no more abuse.Whether it be verbal/physical/emotional (mental) I have to go. Someone has to break the cycle. Break the generational curse.

True- Art -No- Words- Needed

For those of you who claim to have it hard in life and look at this and say it has no meaning..........
you still have some growing to do. If you say it was boring........live a little more.

Dawta Go!

Go dawta!

Run for the hills!

Go and clean yourself off. 

Dem on you! I can seeeee!

Go dawta! Grab dem herbs and light dat fire. Go! 

You still standing here?Get bare! Lay them herbs on de fire and wrap yourself in de blanket and be washed of dem demons. 

Be free! They want you and you can't let dem have you. 

You better fight! You have the tools so do what you must do. Save yourself!YOU ARE THE HERO YOU HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR! Go dawta! Go.

Urrrrggg!

This toothache is kicking my ass. I am have some healing to do. Seriously! It comes and goes but I need it to stay away. I am not trying to have this happen now. Plus, I just found out that my uncle is in the hospital after a stroke and heart attack. I am so mad because the worst things happen to good people. I am not going to cry any more because it hurts my head and my tooth. I cried long and hard when I got the news because this man has been there through all my life. He lost his daughter when she was seven days old and years later here my little one comes and he took to her so this news is going to upset her but I know I have to sugar coat it a little. I am hoping he will be okay. This man has done a lot for us. He may be uncle by marriage but he is like a father. All will be well because I believe it and so it will be. 

You Can Achieve Whatever Your Mind Can Conceive

Just like there is no action possible without first the idea or thought; there is no great achievement possible without the desire to achieve it. The intensity of your desire is directly proportional to the rate of which any achievement is realised.
If you are able to transform your desire into more of an obsession then you will have no difficulty in convincing your subconscious mind that you are indeed very serious and will achieve your goals,dreams and desires.

It is when your subconscious mind is convinced of your conviction to achieve is when great things start to happen because your subconscious mind is connected to, and influences your universal realities.

Therefore…When you convince your subconscious mind of your success, through your desire, obsession, behaviours, actions and re-actions then success comes easier.

The purpose here is to create the desire for absolutely anything and everything you want, and to become so fanatically resolute about acquiring it, that you easily convince your subconscious mind that you must have and will have it, and will never give up no matter what obstacles the universe might put in your way to achieving your desires.

You also need to become wealth conscious. Only the person who conditions their mind to become wealth conscious acquires the wealth that he or she truly desires and works toward. To become wealth conscious means that your subconscious mind has become so comprehensively preoccupied and driven with the desire for success and wealth, that it can see itself already having it and in total control of it. Your mind then learns to expect success and wealth and thus creates success and wealth.

To the sceptical, that have no experience or knowledge of the great potential of the human mind, and prefer to remain stuck in their ways, and wallow in failure, these great laws or principles could seem somewhat unreasonable and unrealistic or impossible. For the sceptical there is only so much you can do to help them break free from the slavery of their failure consciousness, but ultimately it is from their own ability and desire and discipline and action that will break the bonds of their pessimistic and negative mind frames.

To develop the necessary desire, and to bring desire into your quest, you do not need to have any special talents or skills. You just need a bit of faith /belief, discipline, determination and follow-through.
The successful application also requires adequate planning or rather a bit of imagination, so that the mind is able to clearly see, and be able to comprehend, the idea of you amassing great wealth or achieving any kind of success that cannot and will not be left to probability, family fortune, or least of all – to luck.






>>>>>http://www.selfgrowth.com/<<<<<

Uneasy With You

So what if I get in my moods? So what if I am up and down? And please don't say it is because I am a female. So what?! Let us not change ourselves just to please others. I want people around me who will let me be myself and will accommodate me and my moods. I have done all kinds of flips and tricks for others to make them comfortable but once again and no surprise they are not willing to do the same for me. I don't care if you think I am crazy or bipolar! Bitch I am me so who you? Be a friend. As soon as I step out of your comfort zone you trip up. Ha! Well once you become comfortable with who you are and feel good in your skin you won't be so hell bent on trying to change me. 

Can You See What I see?

Even through all the turmoil, I can still see. Do you see what I see? I see a better life. A life where I am fully in control. Then again, even when you feel fragmented you really are whole because remember things are not always what the seem. Sometimes you just have to take a step back and look at and beyond the physical. Sit down with  that piece of paper and take note. Answer the Questions as follows:

1. Am I where I want to be in my life?
2. Am I holding myself back?
3. Am I allowing others to hold me back? Question 2&3 are all on you. You are in control either way. Do You See it?
4. Why do I feel stuck?
5. Am I really stuck?
6. What can I do to gut unstuck? You are already doing it! Your asking the right questions and it is up to you to give the honest answers.
7. Do you feel obligated to stay out of guilt? You owe no one anything and they don't owe you even if you feel like they do.
8. Do I want to be here at this place in my life 5 years from?
9. What dreams and goals have I had yet to accomplish? It is never to late. Time is an illusion.

Time to start believing and doing. Remember, You can create the reality you want.

The Transition

Just because they are family it doesn't mean anything. I have dealt with these people for long enough and I am done. You would think we were strangers! I have reached the point of no return on my care meter. It is unfortunate but it is something I must do for myself. My peace of mind. The journey is quickly approaching it's ending. I am sad that I have to let go of those of whom I love but they don't act like they love me. Besides it is just time to move on. They don't want better for their lives and to hang around low vibration beings like this, I will either end up taking on that which is around me or push through and become successful but struggling because everyone wants to be one tidy. Sucking from my fountain of youth leaving me looking like an old hag. I won't age prematurely because of these life suckers. I will be sad and cry my eyes out but o well. I need to enjoy life and if I stay here any longer I feel my life will be cu short so out with the old and in with the new.

INSOMNIA

Here we are going into a new day and instead of being in the bed I am siting here typing this. And does anyone now how to change the time on blogger? So frustrating! Bumping 'Bound' in the speakers. I do need some rest but maybe if I deprive myself of sleep for a couple days along with fasting I can get some clarity. Insomnia....ugh! I am doing some research for some work that needs to be done this week. I just made a new blog and on that one,which I will provide the link to later, is about my spiritual practice. I am very spiritual and I would like to share a few tips and tricks with those of you who are interested in them. I will not lie and pretend as if I have been on this path for forever. No. It has been almost two years  since I had something happen that put me back on my path. Nothing is a coinky dink in this world. So I would like to share what I have learned so far. I am also in the process of throwing out some beliefs that no longer work for me anymore so....Yeah. Come and visit Miss.Blu sometime. Just did the preview and the time read 9:59 and here it is 2:00 A.M. on 12/29. Someone please help me figure this out! Now I am listening to the late great Phyllis Hyman. I hate living all alone too Phyllis. Isn't it funny how you can be in a room full of people and still feel so alone? I need to clean this house and wash clothes tomorrow. If I don't do it then who will? Rhetorical. O.K so I am out of here. More than likely I will still be up listening to my throwbacks and taking notes for my upcoming 21 day project. They say it takes 21 days to make a habit and 21 days to break a habit so let's  see if that is true.

Love. Light. Goodnight.

Here's To The Future

I wake up with the intentions of having a good day and being of service to others but then I am plagued with thoughts of yesterdays' yesterday. I have tried affirmations but not being consistent does not help. I have tried the magical method that I came up with of burning a long strand of hemp or black yarn while reciting words to rid myself of the negative thinking. Sad to say after burning myself (trial and error) the first time I did it only one other time after that. What do you have to feel so guilty about? You may ask. Well, let's just say life is not going my way. As much as I try for others I still get ass to kiss. Regret! I think about being alone a lot and how much time I've wasted on losers. Regret! I think about how many years I have wasted dreaming instead of doing. Regret! So you see I have a lot of regret built up inside of me. I know with age comes wisdom and today I asked God to help me to accept that there are things I just can't change (past) and to give me the strength (mind), understanding, and overstanding to move forward into a better tomorrow. I am tired of people hurting me and abusing my good nature. This is the making of a bitter person but I refuse. I will become the woman I see when I close my eyes. I will be ready when the time comes to assume that position in the life of the person (be it man or woman)who deserves me. Until then, I will be here to vent. 

Anybody Need Love?

If anyone knows what it is like to be lonely, I do. It seems as if for the longest I have been giving myself to those who really don't deserve it. Why do I settle? You must be feeling the same way if you have landed on my page so tell me if this sounds familiar.  I had friends who would have men, one after the other, who they would play with (sometimes 3 in one night) and these guys of course not knowing about one another, they would spoil them by giving them whatever they wanted. These guys would actually want to build something with them but they (my friends) were not interested in love and the whole bit. They just wanted some cash and to bust a nut fast. So here I am looking like the hater (let you all tell it from the way I just worded this) but really I am sitting here trying to analyze this shit. Here I am the good girl who actually wants the long worn out and seen through American dream but the guys who seem to want the same fall for the whores. Yes they were my friends but I have to call it what it is. If it looks like a duck and quacks like one, well...it is one. I know some of you can relate to what I am saying. I always want the best for people so I never wished anything but the best for them. However, it did upset me to see these men (black at that) become damaged goods because of the games my then friends played on them. That is the making of heartless bitter black man. It is unfortunate but true. Also, for anyone who thinks I am trying to make this about race I really am not but to know the state of emergency my people are in and how people are so quick to portray us in a negative light versus our white counterparts in the media where they are in love and doing well, I just have to bring it up and let it be known that it is not always the mothers fault but some of these heartless women who just don't give a damn! They play on the wallet and heartstrings of these men which turns them cold leaving women like myself to ponder. The answer to the why? is seen in the above.

*To Be Continued*

New Day

Today is a new day. Whenever I am blessed with the ability to wake up and see a new day I try to remind myself to be grateful because somebody else may not have gotten the opportunity to. Someone may not have had the strength to stay and decided it was time to go or maybe the creator felt this person had done what they needed and now it is time to move on. Either way, I have dreams and goals that I want to accomplished and I hope to see come to pass in this lifetime. However, While currently under the same roof as my mother I sometimes just want to run and hide. I keep thinking to myself just two more months and I am on my way to freedom and being able to get it together mentally, emotionally, and physically because I have just been falling apart in this war zone. Amazing how the same people who claim to want nothing but the best for you are the ones who are doing all the planning behind the scenes with your enemies. I wonder what will come of these people when I leave. Will they just wallow in their own misery? Seems more than likely. I have been the punching bag for too long and the tomfoolery is coming to an end. When the enemy knows you see him but you don't SEE him, he will fight harder than ever to bring you down. So I tell myself get ready for your come up baby. Get ready. I say this to myself and imagine my grandmother there.