Temporary

As good as it gets, temporarily, I know I still have a decision to make. We have great moments sometimes but I am reminded quickly of the scale and how imbalanced they are. You have caused me more harm than good. I will not let this continue because you have become comfortable in this twisted cycle. The countdown has begun and it is time for me to go. A decision has to be made. I will be leaving and I wish you well but there will be no more abuse.Whether it be verbal/physical/emotional (mental) I have to go. Someone has to break the cycle. Break the generational curse.

Procrastination

Postponed

So, in a very recent post I told you all that I wanted to start the 100 day challenge. Instead of starting right away I need to prepare myself mentally. I want to start Sunday. I also decided to unplug from most social media. I am actually considering deleting my face-book account. I am often distracted by social media. My friend Lance was right, social media can take over your entire day before you know it. I have to really get ready for this transition and I need to cut a lot of crap out of my life. Social media being the main course of my day. Sad. So sad.  #procrastination at it's finest right here right? But, no. Seriously I really need to prepare for this just like when it is time to start fasting you have to prepare your body and mind for the trip you don't just go surprise stomach nothing for you today. Am I right or is it procrastination? We shall see. 

The again, If I live by the saying "I create my own reality" Then I will not just let life happen to me. 
I have to get to work. Beware of energy vampires that try to stop you and want to you to be stuck in the same low vibration as them and don't want you to move forward. Don't try to identify with them once you go up because the only way from here is up. They will try to keep you in the matrix of life with them because they see no way out. You have been warned.

There She Go!

I see the change. That is how I know I am really growing. I was able to identify the change in this person. When this happens, I know I need to stay away. I really need to stay away. I have just one more month to go and I cant focus on the bullshit. To me it seems as if this person wants more of my attention than my own child. It is sad. I am not here for you to take your anger out on especially when I don't give you attention. Just one more month and we are out of here. I am working on a tight rope and I know I better make the best of it.

Rudy Ja Vu

I found myself drifting off thinking about you again. Not because of Valentines day but every day. You are who I want and I believe God knows the kind of eternal fire we can set off. That kind of union would start ww3. I miss you love. You are what a man should be. I will never find another like you. No one compares. Only 1 Rubin and Ceecee.

REALLY

Urrrrggg!

This toothache is kicking my ass. I am have some healing to do. Seriously! It comes and goes but I need it to stay away. I am not trying to have this happen now. Plus, I just found out that my uncle is in the hospital after a stroke and heart attack. I am so mad because the worst things happen to good people. I am not going to cry any more because it hurts my head and my tooth. I cried long and hard when I got the news because this man has been there through all my life. He lost his daughter when she was seven days old and years later here my little one comes and he took to her so this news is going to upset her but I know I have to sugar coat it a little. I am hoping he will be okay. This man has done a lot for us. He may be uncle by marriage but he is like a father. All will be well because I believe it and so it will be. 

Avoiding Reality

I sit at this computer everyday. I sit here because I am trying to avoid the reality of it all. I am trying to avoid the reality of my situation. I sit here not because I have to but because I choose to. This is how I avoid it all. I wake up and I am glued to it because from the moment I wake up I see the chaos and I choose to ignore it. I hit the ignore button. At least I try to anyways. Dealing with bullshit like everyday and do you know what else I have noticed? It is only getting worse since it is getting closer and closer to that time for me to leave. I need to come up with a better way of handling this shit. I am tired of cleaning up after grown ass people who right after I clean they don't appreciate it and it shows because they go right after me and fuck it all up again. I could have been gone. Hell it's not like the finances were not there but because I had such a good damn heart I had to stroke my filthy fucking ego and stay to help these people who call themselves my family but more and more everyday they show themselves to be my true enemies. My heart at this point is heavier than a feather and I just don't care. I am going to do what I need to do and change up the routine. I am promising myself that from this point forward (and for as long as mercury does not go retrograde) I will work out more and clean up every mess whether I like it or not because having a clean environment is important to me. My happiness is important to me so I will do what is best for me. If you know you have to travel 20 miles, and your car gets 20 mpg, and you fill it up to go only 10 miles...are you going to make it to where you have to go? No! Same thing with your body and your mind. You have to make sure you are okay before everyone else. It sounds selfish but how are they going to be okay if your ass is broke down and your the sole provider? Nourish your mind, body, and soul! Fill up on good things and let everything else fall by the wayside. 

 Namaste!

I knew it all along

I look and I see right through you. I knew it was you. I have tried to make excuses for you but there comes a time when you have to face the truth. The one you love is the one you have to rid yourself of. Goodbye beloved. 

                                                                   Sincerely,

                                                                                                      The One You Betrayed

Almost There

The time is quickly approaching. I am ready. I still have so much to do. Funny how that last thought I had popped in my head knowing that much is really not much at all. We syke ourselves out to believe that and it is like there is such a heavy burden placed on us by ourselves. So I shouldn't say I have so much to do, I should just say I have so a few tasks to complete and I will be able to complete them effortlessly. I am starting to get a little better at this organizing thing and before I move I will already have a system setup. I look forward to starting over. I am somewhat stuck right now though because a retrograde is coming and I DO NOT take chances. I will stop whatever I had planned and push it back or speed it up if I find out that there is a mercury retrograde. I KNOW better. So little time and lots of planning to do.

You Can Achieve Whatever Your Mind Can Conceive

Just like there is no action possible without first the idea or thought; there is no great achievement possible without the desire to achieve it. The intensity of your desire is directly proportional to the rate of which any achievement is realised.
If you are able to transform your desire into more of an obsession then you will have no difficulty in convincing your subconscious mind that you are indeed very serious and will achieve your goals,dreams and desires.

It is when your subconscious mind is convinced of your conviction to achieve is when great things start to happen because your subconscious mind is connected to, and influences your universal realities.

Therefore…When you convince your subconscious mind of your success, through your desire, obsession, behaviours, actions and re-actions then success comes easier.

The purpose here is to create the desire for absolutely anything and everything you want, and to become so fanatically resolute about acquiring it, that you easily convince your subconscious mind that you must have and will have it, and will never give up no matter what obstacles the universe might put in your way to achieving your desires.

You also need to become wealth conscious. Only the person who conditions their mind to become wealth conscious acquires the wealth that he or she truly desires and works toward. To become wealth conscious means that your subconscious mind has become so comprehensively preoccupied and driven with the desire for success and wealth, that it can see itself already having it and in total control of it. Your mind then learns to expect success and wealth and thus creates success and wealth.

To the sceptical, that have no experience or knowledge of the great potential of the human mind, and prefer to remain stuck in their ways, and wallow in failure, these great laws or principles could seem somewhat unreasonable and unrealistic or impossible. For the sceptical there is only so much you can do to help them break free from the slavery of their failure consciousness, but ultimately it is from their own ability and desire and discipline and action that will break the bonds of their pessimistic and negative mind frames.

To develop the necessary desire, and to bring desire into your quest, you do not need to have any special talents or skills. You just need a bit of faith /belief, discipline, determination and follow-through.
The successful application also requires adequate planning or rather a bit of imagination, so that the mind is able to clearly see, and be able to comprehend, the idea of you amassing great wealth or achieving any kind of success that cannot and will not be left to probability, family fortune, or least of all – to luck.






>>>>>http://www.selfgrowth.com/<<<<<

Rudy2

If you think that things are a coinky dink in this world...You thought wrong! So back to Rudy.
I saw him a couple weeks back in November and I pretended not to know him. Now y'all don't have the entire story about how him and I fell apart but because I am not too cool on giving full details with that just yet I will fast forward.

Now before I saw him this last time I had the craziest dream about him. We were having sex! Yes and good sex too. I was sitting on his face and he was eating it so good. I could feel it. Now the thing that freaked me out was when I looked down at him, his forehead had bridged and it was as if the tongue was like a serpents and was sucking life from me. Now get ready for it...

When I saw him he had snake bites! He did not have that last year! This dream came to me some time between February and April (I cant remember exactly when and I wasn't keeping a dream journal at this time)and I just saw him this November past. Like I said, no coincidence.

Have you ever had a prophetic dream that came to pass months later? Comment below. 


Love&Light♥ 

Sacrifice

I love Evanescence!

Because I Am Me

Just Another Day

Here we are in December in Florida and it feels like it's summer time. Call me a conspiracy theorist all you want. HARRP and CERN are doing a number on us. Anyways, I am just sitting here listening to the rain, Jhene Aiko, and typing my little heart out. I am relaxing even though a day really does not go by where I get to have that peace and something does not shake me. There is a lot going on right now that I will discuss later on down the line but I really do hold up well. I thank god and I am ever so grateful for my grandmother (rest in POWER Rosa) who taught me how to stay grounded throughout chaos. 

The rest of this day will be what I make it. I need to go to wally world to get some fabric for the couches to reupholster. No one else cares but I do since this is my temporary home. I care for a warm loving environment. I care that when our guest comes over the furniture looks nice. My environment is a reflection of me so with a house of six only one really cares. I knew moving back in with my mom would be a bad idea but it was something that had to be done. I am happy I did it but this has run its course. I am over cleaning after grown ass people. Just about two more months of dealing with this before I get into my own little sanctuary. Whew! Lesson have come from this experience and I am so thankful to have had to hit the bottom because when I make my way back up to the top I will have more of an appreciation for what I have and even jobs with difficult people. 

I am ready for my new life. I started planning for 2015 back in October. How many of you can say that? If you can then I applaud you. If not, what the hell are you waiting for? Remember, life has a way of directing you to where you need to be. When you let life happen to you instead of taking life by the horns you tend to go through some very painful and often time unnecessary experiences, Why not avoid that? Scroll down and take the questionnaire and get your life moving in the direction you want it to go. Take it from someone who knows, you do not want to let life happen to you, You always have a choice.

Love&Light ♥ ♥ ♥ 

Wishlist

So one day a long time ago I was just sitting on the bus (yes I said the bus) minding my own business and this guy in front of me turns around and starts telling me all about this book by author Robert Green titled 'the art of seduction' and for the longest it has been on my mind. Don't know why it never left. Maybe because when the young man (look at me acting all old and what not) had so much enthusiasm when talking about the book. I can't wait! Next year I am thinking about a third job for a couple months just to get my book shelf filled with those good reads that I have been dying for. Maybe some of you who have had the chance to read it already can point me to your youtube reviews or you can maybe even comment below. I will definitely be doing a a review once I have read it from cover to cover.

Love&Light ♥ 

Struggle

What the fuck is a struggle? Most importantly, why is it that we as black people are programmed to believe that from the womb we are made to struggle? Our mothers and fathers were not struggling to do anything in that moment of our immaculate conception but struggling to get a nut. Why? Why black people do we believe this? We are Kings and Queens! In my honest opinion I don't care what race you are, no one should have to struggle. I will struggle no more. I will move mountains and tremble the waters before I allow myself to move out of one struggle and into another. It took me a while to realize that I dealt blow after blow and never gave myself time to heal. Well brothers and sisters if that just resonated with you then it is time for us to heal. No one will stop this healing. It needs to be done. It will and it must be done! Let us heal. Let 2015 be the year we tend to our wounds. Let it air out. Pour on the peroxide. Place the bandage over it and give it a week before we repeat and you will see how over time it will heal. Eat your fruits and drink your water because remember you are what you eat. Before you eat that apple, hold it in the palm of your hands and say a prayer and then when you have eaten the meat of the apple you will give thanks to mother earth and give back by planting those seeds. Plant seeds of greatness in your life! Just lie you spoke to and gave thanks before ingesting that apple, before you go out into the #warzone a.k.a The World, you need to do the same. Don't let society and Maury tell you who you are as my people. We are greatness. They know it and that is why they try to feed us poison by way of media trying to tell us who we are and even they know how great we are but the sad part is WE HAVE YET TO REALIZE OUR GREATNESS! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Remember who you are.

Affirmation

Another technique of Mind Power is that of affirmations. Affirmations are statements that you say either out loud or quietly to yourself. You affirm to yourself whatever it is you want to happen. For example, if you have an important interview coming up, you could affirm to yourself, “A great interview,” and you would repeat this statement over and over again for several minutes. Or, let’s say you’re recovering from a leg injury, you could repeatedly say to yourself, “I have strong and healthy legs.” - See more at: 

Why do affirmations work? They work because whatever you verbally repeat to yourself will influence your thoughts. Say to yourself, “A great interview,” and you will automatically begin thinking about your upcoming interview as “a great interview.” Repeat to yourself, “ I have strong and healthy legs,” and your mind will begin imagining strong and healthy legs. And what you focus your mind on, you attract, so begin focusing on whatever it is you want. - See more at: 

Now let me give you three simple rules to remember when using affirmations  

1.  Always affirm in the positive. Make your affirmation a positive statement. Avoid asking yourself, “What happens if it’s a terrible interview?” or saying to yourself, “I’m so nervous.” These statements focus on what you don’t want to occur. If you want to be confident, use that word in your affirmation. If you want to be dynamic, use that word. Use the words that reflect what you want to happen. Be specific.

2.  Make your affirmation short and simple. Use a phrase or at maximum one sentence. Your affirmation should be like a mantra that you can repeat over and over again without even thinking about it. Don’t ramble on.

3. Don’t force yourself to believe it, just say it. All you have to do is repeat it over and over again and the affirmation will quite naturally have an effect. After all, you don’t force yourself to believe that the medication your doctor has given you will work. You just take the prescribed dosage and assume it will. So too with affirmations; just repeating the statement many times will cause it to work for you.

Affirmations are simple, easy to use and very powerful. Many professional athletes use them to perform well on the field. Successful business people use them to close deals and run their businesses. Artists use them to be creative and come up with innovative ideas. You can use them too, in any area of your life. Now repeat after me, “I am successful, confident and achieve my goals. I am successful, confident and achieve my goals. I am successful, confident and achieve my goals.”

Get the idea?

>>>John Kehoe<<<<

Can You See What I see?

Even through all the turmoil, I can still see. Do you see what I see? I see a better life. A life where I am fully in control. Then again, even when you feel fragmented you really are whole because remember things are not always what the seem. Sometimes you just have to take a step back and look at and beyond the physical. Sit down with  that piece of paper and take note. Answer the Questions as follows:

1. Am I where I want to be in my life?
2. Am I holding myself back?
3. Am I allowing others to hold me back? Question 2&3 are all on you. You are in control either way. Do You See it?
4. Why do I feel stuck?
5. Am I really stuck?
6. What can I do to gut unstuck? You are already doing it! Your asking the right questions and it is up to you to give the honest answers.
7. Do you feel obligated to stay out of guilt? You owe no one anything and they don't owe you even if you feel like they do.
8. Do I want to be here at this place in my life 5 years from?
9. What dreams and goals have I had yet to accomplish? It is never to late. Time is an illusion.

Time to start believing and doing. Remember, You can create the reality you want.

The Transition

Just because they are family it doesn't mean anything. I have dealt with these people for long enough and I am done. You would think we were strangers! I have reached the point of no return on my care meter. It is unfortunate but it is something I must do for myself. My peace of mind. The journey is quickly approaching it's ending. I am sad that I have to let go of those of whom I love but they don't act like they love me. Besides it is just time to move on. They don't want better for their lives and to hang around low vibration beings like this, I will either end up taking on that which is around me or push through and become successful but struggling because everyone wants to be one tidy. Sucking from my fountain of youth leaving me looking like an old hag. I won't age prematurely because of these life suckers. I will be sad and cry my eyes out but o well. I need to enjoy life and if I stay here any longer I feel my life will be cu short so out with the old and in with the new.