Temporary

As good as it gets, temporarily, I know I still have a decision to make. We have great moments sometimes but I am reminded quickly of the scale and how imbalanced they are. You have caused me more harm than good. I will not let this continue because you have become comfortable in this twisted cycle. The countdown has begun and it is time for me to go. A decision has to be made. I will be leaving and I wish you well but there will be no more abuse.Whether it be verbal/physical/emotional (mental) I have to go. Someone has to break the cycle. Break the generational curse.

100 Day Reality Challenge!

Here I come! I have been needing a little inspiration and I got it when some random videos popped up in the video suggestions on youtube. I am ready to take this challenge. It is perfect for me plus it crosses in with my transition from my current living situation to the new life, new me I am stepping into. This will help me to get to it, stick to it, and be ahead of it. I am starting right away although I have to say I think if I go to bed at 3 in the morning I doubt if I am really going to get up at 7 a.m.
No need in waiting though. I have yet to crack open this new book that I purchased a little over a month ago that got to me about thee weeks ago and 2 other books. I need to stimulate my brain! That was nothing back in the day when  could crack open a 600 page book and be done in less than a week. But now, pssst! So time to get back to what I love and in the future pick up a new hobby. Maybe....knitting? We will see. ♥ ❤ ❥

True- Art -No- Words- Needed

For those of you who claim to have it hard in life and look at this and say it has no meaning..........
you still have some growing to do. If you say it was boring........live a little more.

Dawta Go!

Go dawta!

Run for the hills!

Go and clean yourself off. 

Dem on you! I can seeeee!

Go dawta! Grab dem herbs and light dat fire. Go! 

You still standing here?Get bare! Lay them herbs on de fire and wrap yourself in de blanket and be washed of dem demons. 

Be free! They want you and you can't let dem have you. 

You better fight! You have the tools so do what you must do. Save yourself!YOU ARE THE HERO YOU HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR! Go dawta! Go.

New Day

Today when I woke up, I told myself it is about me today. I am not going to allow anyone to piss me off today. So it is. If I feel like I am about to flip a table then I will simply walk away. Last night was when I realized just how far I have come. I asked someone to do for me what they have asked me to do numerous time. Can you go to the store and get my Klondike and Mountain Dew? You still come back with nothing! Wtf? In my head the thoughts were rolling and I did not allow my ego to reach out to this person. I remained calm (thoughts at an all time high) got dressed and headed out the door on my own little mission to get exactly what I wanted. You all out there in the virtual world don't know me but if you did you would pat me on the back. I get tired of doing for others. I ask for something so simple and you still can't do it. It's not like I asked you to move a mountain. Although, if you had the machinery and the know how to operate said machinery you would still fail me. I did good. I have come far. I am going to continue to get better. It did not occur to me that I did not retaliate the way I normally would until way later into the evening. I was thrown off myself by it but that was yesterday. Today is a new day and it will be a good day.

Only U

I am mad at me. I am not mad at you. I am mad at me because I fell in love with you. I am so mad because I allowed myself to get too caught up in you. You are a Boss. You are a king. You are one of the very few and you don't belong to me. Why? I think I will spend an eternity looking and the whores will always win. Sometimes it is not always a whore. For me I believe it was a missed opportunity. I wish I could tell you I love you but even if I did you wouldn't say it back. She wins! I loose again.

Uneasy With You

So what if I get in my moods? So what if I am up and down? And please don't say it is because I am a female. So what?! Let us not change ourselves just to please others. I want people around me who will let me be myself and will accommodate me and my moods. I have done all kinds of flips and tricks for others to make them comfortable but once again and no surprise they are not willing to do the same for me. I don't care if you think I am crazy or bipolar! Bitch I am me so who you? Be a friend. As soon as I step out of your comfort zone you trip up. Ha! Well once you become comfortable with who you are and feel good in your skin you won't be so hell bent on trying to change me. 

Just Another Day

Here we are in December in Florida and it feels like it's summer time. Call me a conspiracy theorist all you want. HARRP and CERN are doing a number on us. Anyways, I am just sitting here listening to the rain, Jhene Aiko, and typing my little heart out. I am relaxing even though a day really does not go by where I get to have that peace and something does not shake me. There is a lot going on right now that I will discuss later on down the line but I really do hold up well. I thank god and I am ever so grateful for my grandmother (rest in POWER Rosa) who taught me how to stay grounded throughout chaos. 

The rest of this day will be what I make it. I need to go to wally world to get some fabric for the couches to reupholster. No one else cares but I do since this is my temporary home. I care for a warm loving environment. I care that when our guest comes over the furniture looks nice. My environment is a reflection of me so with a house of six only one really cares. I knew moving back in with my mom would be a bad idea but it was something that had to be done. I am happy I did it but this has run its course. I am over cleaning after grown ass people. Just about two more months of dealing with this before I get into my own little sanctuary. Whew! Lesson have come from this experience and I am so thankful to have had to hit the bottom because when I make my way back up to the top I will have more of an appreciation for what I have and even jobs with difficult people. 

I am ready for my new life. I started planning for 2015 back in October. How many of you can say that? If you can then I applaud you. If not, what the hell are you waiting for? Remember, life has a way of directing you to where you need to be. When you let life happen to you instead of taking life by the horns you tend to go through some very painful and often time unnecessary experiences, Why not avoid that? Scroll down and take the questionnaire and get your life moving in the direction you want it to go. Take it from someone who knows, you do not want to let life happen to you, You always have a choice.

Love&Light ♥ ♥ ♥ 

Affirmation

Another technique of Mind Power is that of affirmations. Affirmations are statements that you say either out loud or quietly to yourself. You affirm to yourself whatever it is you want to happen. For example, if you have an important interview coming up, you could affirm to yourself, “A great interview,” and you would repeat this statement over and over again for several minutes. Or, let’s say you’re recovering from a leg injury, you could repeatedly say to yourself, “I have strong and healthy legs.” - See more at: 

Why do affirmations work? They work because whatever you verbally repeat to yourself will influence your thoughts. Say to yourself, “A great interview,” and you will automatically begin thinking about your upcoming interview as “a great interview.” Repeat to yourself, “ I have strong and healthy legs,” and your mind will begin imagining strong and healthy legs. And what you focus your mind on, you attract, so begin focusing on whatever it is you want. - See more at: 

Now let me give you three simple rules to remember when using affirmations  

1.  Always affirm in the positive. Make your affirmation a positive statement. Avoid asking yourself, “What happens if it’s a terrible interview?” or saying to yourself, “I’m so nervous.” These statements focus on what you don’t want to occur. If you want to be confident, use that word in your affirmation. If you want to be dynamic, use that word. Use the words that reflect what you want to happen. Be specific.

2.  Make your affirmation short and simple. Use a phrase or at maximum one sentence. Your affirmation should be like a mantra that you can repeat over and over again without even thinking about it. Don’t ramble on.

3. Don’t force yourself to believe it, just say it. All you have to do is repeat it over and over again and the affirmation will quite naturally have an effect. After all, you don’t force yourself to believe that the medication your doctor has given you will work. You just take the prescribed dosage and assume it will. So too with affirmations; just repeating the statement many times will cause it to work for you.

Affirmations are simple, easy to use and very powerful. Many professional athletes use them to perform well on the field. Successful business people use them to close deals and run their businesses. Artists use them to be creative and come up with innovative ideas. You can use them too, in any area of your life. Now repeat after me, “I am successful, confident and achieve my goals. I am successful, confident and achieve my goals. I am successful, confident and achieve my goals.”

Get the idea?

>>>John Kehoe<<<<

Can You See What I see?

Even through all the turmoil, I can still see. Do you see what I see? I see a better life. A life where I am fully in control. Then again, even when you feel fragmented you really are whole because remember things are not always what the seem. Sometimes you just have to take a step back and look at and beyond the physical. Sit down with  that piece of paper and take note. Answer the Questions as follows:

1. Am I where I want to be in my life?
2. Am I holding myself back?
3. Am I allowing others to hold me back? Question 2&3 are all on you. You are in control either way. Do You See it?
4. Why do I feel stuck?
5. Am I really stuck?
6. What can I do to gut unstuck? You are already doing it! Your asking the right questions and it is up to you to give the honest answers.
7. Do you feel obligated to stay out of guilt? You owe no one anything and they don't owe you even if you feel like they do.
8. Do I want to be here at this place in my life 5 years from?
9. What dreams and goals have I had yet to accomplish? It is never to late. Time is an illusion.

Time to start believing and doing. Remember, You can create the reality you want.