Temporary

As good as it gets, temporarily, I know I still have a decision to make. We have great moments sometimes but I am reminded quickly of the scale and how imbalanced they are. You have caused me more harm than good. I will not let this continue because you have become comfortable in this twisted cycle. The countdown has begun and it is time for me to go. A decision has to be made. I will be leaving and I wish you well but there will be no more abuse.Whether it be verbal/physical/emotional (mental) I have to go. Someone has to break the cycle. Break the generational curse.

Rudy Ja Vu

I found myself drifting off thinking about you again. Not because of Valentines day but every day. You are who I want and I believe God knows the kind of eternal fire we can set off. That kind of union would start ww3. I miss you love. You are what a man should be. I will never find another like you. No one compares. Only 1 Rubin and Ceecee.

100 Day Reality Challenge!

Here I come! I have been needing a little inspiration and I got it when some random videos popped up in the video suggestions on youtube. I am ready to take this challenge. It is perfect for me plus it crosses in with my transition from my current living situation to the new life, new me I am stepping into. This will help me to get to it, stick to it, and be ahead of it. I am starting right away although I have to say I think if I go to bed at 3 in the morning I doubt if I am really going to get up at 7 a.m.
No need in waiting though. I have yet to crack open this new book that I purchased a little over a month ago that got to me about thee weeks ago and 2 other books. I need to stimulate my brain! That was nothing back in the day when  could crack open a 600 page book and be done in less than a week. But now, pssst! So time to get back to what I love and in the future pick up a new hobby. Maybe....knitting? We will see. ♥ ❤ ❥

True- Art -No- Words- Needed

For those of you who claim to have it hard in life and look at this and say it has no meaning..........
you still have some growing to do. If you say it was boring........live a little more.

Avoiding Reality

I sit at this computer everyday. I sit here because I am trying to avoid the reality of it all. I am trying to avoid the reality of my situation. I sit here not because I have to but because I choose to. This is how I avoid it all. I wake up and I am glued to it because from the moment I wake up I see the chaos and I choose to ignore it. I hit the ignore button. At least I try to anyways. Dealing with bullshit like everyday and do you know what else I have noticed? It is only getting worse since it is getting closer and closer to that time for me to leave. I need to come up with a better way of handling this shit. I am tired of cleaning up after grown ass people who right after I clean they don't appreciate it and it shows because they go right after me and fuck it all up again. I could have been gone. Hell it's not like the finances were not there but because I had such a good damn heart I had to stroke my filthy fucking ego and stay to help these people who call themselves my family but more and more everyday they show themselves to be my true enemies. My heart at this point is heavier than a feather and I just don't care. I am going to do what I need to do and change up the routine. I am promising myself that from this point forward (and for as long as mercury does not go retrograde) I will work out more and clean up every mess whether I like it or not because having a clean environment is important to me. My happiness is important to me so I will do what is best for me. If you know you have to travel 20 miles, and your car gets 20 mpg, and you fill it up to go only 10 miles...are you going to make it to where you have to go? No! Same thing with your body and your mind. You have to make sure you are okay before everyone else. It sounds selfish but how are they going to be okay if your ass is broke down and your the sole provider? Nourish your mind, body, and soul! Fill up on good things and let everything else fall by the wayside. 

 Namaste!

I Get It

We can blame everyone else before finally getting to ourselves. Why? We can stay in the victim role for a little longer then we need to be. Why? Sometimes it is not always our fault. Majority of the time it really is. We are sometimes often more than not the cause of a lot of our issues but then we are so quick to point the finger at he ex who cheated or the our drunk of a mother. So ready to blame everyone else but the truth is at the end of the day even when it is their fault we must not stay stuck on those memories. It is time to let go. Whatever that persons motives were for doing what they did is on them. It was really not because of you but because you just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, you got hit by the stray. Tend to that wound. Let it heal. Don't bleed to death.

 

Yesterday Was A Good Day

Yesterday went by so smooth. I had a kink and a scare but nothing to really worry about. I am so focused on getting my shit together and getting the hell out of this house that I can't worry about the little Chinese lady freaking out on me for an old folk remedy she does not understand. I had an onion tied around my neck in what looked like a mojo bag. Now this started with a question. Do you cook? At first I looked perplexed and then said yes. She said you smell like you cook. I then thought oh, the onion! I then proceeded to show her where it was coming from. She looked a little afraid. Oh well, that is the last time and to be honest I wish I hadn't shown her. I already fear my life sometimes where I live because I am different. I don't want to fit into a box like the rest of these mufuckas. I am me! Accept or leave me b. I felt really weird only because of the sachet. It is not like it is an actual mojo that had life breathed into it but it was still a funny feeling and unless I absolutely have to I won't be going back into that store for a while. Other than that, today or yesterday rather was a good day=)

Sacrifice

I love Evanescence!

Affirmation

Another technique of Mind Power is that of affirmations. Affirmations are statements that you say either out loud or quietly to yourself. You affirm to yourself whatever it is you want to happen. For example, if you have an important interview coming up, you could affirm to yourself, “A great interview,” and you would repeat this statement over and over again for several minutes. Or, let’s say you’re recovering from a leg injury, you could repeatedly say to yourself, “I have strong and healthy legs.” - See more at: 

Why do affirmations work? They work because whatever you verbally repeat to yourself will influence your thoughts. Say to yourself, “A great interview,” and you will automatically begin thinking about your upcoming interview as “a great interview.” Repeat to yourself, “ I have strong and healthy legs,” and your mind will begin imagining strong and healthy legs. And what you focus your mind on, you attract, so begin focusing on whatever it is you want. - See more at: 

Now let me give you three simple rules to remember when using affirmations  

1.  Always affirm in the positive. Make your affirmation a positive statement. Avoid asking yourself, “What happens if it’s a terrible interview?” or saying to yourself, “I’m so nervous.” These statements focus on what you don’t want to occur. If you want to be confident, use that word in your affirmation. If you want to be dynamic, use that word. Use the words that reflect what you want to happen. Be specific.

2.  Make your affirmation short and simple. Use a phrase or at maximum one sentence. Your affirmation should be like a mantra that you can repeat over and over again without even thinking about it. Don’t ramble on.

3. Don’t force yourself to believe it, just say it. All you have to do is repeat it over and over again and the affirmation will quite naturally have an effect. After all, you don’t force yourself to believe that the medication your doctor has given you will work. You just take the prescribed dosage and assume it will. So too with affirmations; just repeating the statement many times will cause it to work for you.

Affirmations are simple, easy to use and very powerful. Many professional athletes use them to perform well on the field. Successful business people use them to close deals and run their businesses. Artists use them to be creative and come up with innovative ideas. You can use them too, in any area of your life. Now repeat after me, “I am successful, confident and achieve my goals. I am successful, confident and achieve my goals. I am successful, confident and achieve my goals.”

Get the idea?

>>>John Kehoe<<<<

Can You See What I see?

Even through all the turmoil, I can still see. Do you see what I see? I see a better life. A life where I am fully in control. Then again, even when you feel fragmented you really are whole because remember things are not always what the seem. Sometimes you just have to take a step back and look at and beyond the physical. Sit down with  that piece of paper and take note. Answer the Questions as follows:

1. Am I where I want to be in my life?
2. Am I holding myself back?
3. Am I allowing others to hold me back? Question 2&3 are all on you. You are in control either way. Do You See it?
4. Why do I feel stuck?
5. Am I really stuck?
6. What can I do to gut unstuck? You are already doing it! Your asking the right questions and it is up to you to give the honest answers.
7. Do you feel obligated to stay out of guilt? You owe no one anything and they don't owe you even if you feel like they do.
8. Do I want to be here at this place in my life 5 years from?
9. What dreams and goals have I had yet to accomplish? It is never to late. Time is an illusion.

Time to start believing and doing. Remember, You can create the reality you want.

The Transition

Just because they are family it doesn't mean anything. I have dealt with these people for long enough and I am done. You would think we were strangers! I have reached the point of no return on my care meter. It is unfortunate but it is something I must do for myself. My peace of mind. The journey is quickly approaching it's ending. I am sad that I have to let go of those of whom I love but they don't act like they love me. Besides it is just time to move on. They don't want better for their lives and to hang around low vibration beings like this, I will either end up taking on that which is around me or push through and become successful but struggling because everyone wants to be one tidy. Sucking from my fountain of youth leaving me looking like an old hag. I won't age prematurely because of these life suckers. I will be sad and cry my eyes out but o well. I need to enjoy life and if I stay here any longer I feel my life will be cu short so out with the old and in with the new.

WHY?!

I give everyone in this house the respect that they deserve (big or little) and they just want to walk all over me. Why? I am tired. I am so sick and tired! Just two more god forsaken months. I will get through it. I am determined. I just keep getting hit with all of this bad energy from people in and out of my house. It is one hing to have to deal with the outsiders but to have to come home and get hit with the bad energy as well, I can't do it. There is only so far the car can go even if you do fill it up all the way. Somewhere along the way you have to stop and fill up. Where can I refill? *singing Elle Varner* Can I get a refill?  ♫  ♪  ♫  Can I get a re-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e- fill? REALLY CAN I? But it is all good. I am not worried because the creator keeps me grounded so I will fall back a little in my own life and watch how it all plays out for them because as for me and my well being I am determined to see to it that I am okay even if no one else cares. Goodmorning America.

INSOMNIA

Here we are going into a new day and instead of being in the bed I am siting here typing this. And does anyone now how to change the time on blogger? So frustrating! Bumping 'Bound' in the speakers. I do need some rest but maybe if I deprive myself of sleep for a couple days along with fasting I can get some clarity. Insomnia....ugh! I am doing some research for some work that needs to be done this week. I just made a new blog and on that one,which I will provide the link to later, is about my spiritual practice. I am very spiritual and I would like to share a few tips and tricks with those of you who are interested in them. I will not lie and pretend as if I have been on this path for forever. No. It has been almost two years  since I had something happen that put me back on my path. Nothing is a coinky dink in this world. So I would like to share what I have learned so far. I am also in the process of throwing out some beliefs that no longer work for me anymore so....Yeah. Come and visit Miss.Blu sometime. Just did the preview and the time read 9:59 and here it is 2:00 A.M. on 12/29. Someone please help me figure this out! Now I am listening to the late great Phyllis Hyman. I hate living all alone too Phyllis. Isn't it funny how you can be in a room full of people and still feel so alone? I need to clean this house and wash clothes tomorrow. If I don't do it then who will? Rhetorical. O.K so I am out of here. More than likely I will still be up listening to my throwbacks and taking notes for my upcoming 21 day project. They say it takes 21 days to make a habit and 21 days to break a habit so let's  see if that is true.

Love. Light. Goodnight.

John Kehoe-Harness The Power Of Your Mind

You Deserve The Best So Don't Settle

Harness The Power Of Your Mind!