Temporary

As good as it gets, temporarily, I know I still have a decision to make. We have great moments sometimes but I am reminded quickly of the scale and how imbalanced they are. You have caused me more harm than good. I will not let this continue because you have become comfortable in this twisted cycle. The countdown has begun and it is time for me to go. A decision has to be made. I will be leaving and I wish you well but there will be no more abuse.Whether it be verbal/physical/emotional (mental) I have to go. Someone has to break the cycle. Break the generational curse.

There She Go!

I see the change. That is how I know I am really growing. I was able to identify the change in this person. When this happens, I know I need to stay away. I really need to stay away. I have just one more month to go and I cant focus on the bullshit. To me it seems as if this person wants more of my attention than my own child. It is sad. I am not here for you to take your anger out on especially when I don't give you attention. Just one more month and we are out of here. I am working on a tight rope and I know I better make the best of it.

How People Make Me Feel Sometimes!

Bitch!

Urrrrggg!

This toothache is kicking my ass. I am have some healing to do. Seriously! It comes and goes but I need it to stay away. I am not trying to have this happen now. Plus, I just found out that my uncle is in the hospital after a stroke and heart attack. I am so mad because the worst things happen to good people. I am not going to cry any more because it hurts my head and my tooth. I cried long and hard when I got the news because this man has been there through all my life. He lost his daughter when she was seven days old and years later here my little one comes and he took to her so this news is going to upset her but I know I have to sugar coat it a little. I am hoping he will be okay. This man has done a lot for us. He may be uncle by marriage but he is like a father. All will be well because I believe it and so it will be. 

Just Another Day

Here we are in December in Florida and it feels like it's summer time. Call me a conspiracy theorist all you want. HARRP and CERN are doing a number on us. Anyways, I am just sitting here listening to the rain, Jhene Aiko, and typing my little heart out. I am relaxing even though a day really does not go by where I get to have that peace and something does not shake me. There is a lot going on right now that I will discuss later on down the line but I really do hold up well. I thank god and I am ever so grateful for my grandmother (rest in POWER Rosa) who taught me how to stay grounded throughout chaos. 

The rest of this day will be what I make it. I need to go to wally world to get some fabric for the couches to reupholster. No one else cares but I do since this is my temporary home. I care for a warm loving environment. I care that when our guest comes over the furniture looks nice. My environment is a reflection of me so with a house of six only one really cares. I knew moving back in with my mom would be a bad idea but it was something that had to be done. I am happy I did it but this has run its course. I am over cleaning after grown ass people. Just about two more months of dealing with this before I get into my own little sanctuary. Whew! Lesson have come from this experience and I am so thankful to have had to hit the bottom because when I make my way back up to the top I will have more of an appreciation for what I have and even jobs with difficult people. 

I am ready for my new life. I started planning for 2015 back in October. How many of you can say that? If you can then I applaud you. If not, what the hell are you waiting for? Remember, life has a way of directing you to where you need to be. When you let life happen to you instead of taking life by the horns you tend to go through some very painful and often time unnecessary experiences, Why not avoid that? Scroll down and take the questionnaire and get your life moving in the direction you want it to go. Take it from someone who knows, you do not want to let life happen to you, You always have a choice.

Love&Light ♥ ♥ ♥ 

Can You See What I see?

Even through all the turmoil, I can still see. Do you see what I see? I see a better life. A life where I am fully in control. Then again, even when you feel fragmented you really are whole because remember things are not always what the seem. Sometimes you just have to take a step back and look at and beyond the physical. Sit down with  that piece of paper and take note. Answer the Questions as follows:

1. Am I where I want to be in my life?
2. Am I holding myself back?
3. Am I allowing others to hold me back? Question 2&3 are all on you. You are in control either way. Do You See it?
4. Why do I feel stuck?
5. Am I really stuck?
6. What can I do to gut unstuck? You are already doing it! Your asking the right questions and it is up to you to give the honest answers.
7. Do you feel obligated to stay out of guilt? You owe no one anything and they don't owe you even if you feel like they do.
8. Do I want to be here at this place in my life 5 years from?
9. What dreams and goals have I had yet to accomplish? It is never to late. Time is an illusion.

Time to start believing and doing. Remember, You can create the reality you want.

The Transition

Just because they are family it doesn't mean anything. I have dealt with these people for long enough and I am done. You would think we were strangers! I have reached the point of no return on my care meter. It is unfortunate but it is something I must do for myself. My peace of mind. The journey is quickly approaching it's ending. I am sad that I have to let go of those of whom I love but they don't act like they love me. Besides it is just time to move on. They don't want better for their lives and to hang around low vibration beings like this, I will either end up taking on that which is around me or push through and become successful but struggling because everyone wants to be one tidy. Sucking from my fountain of youth leaving me looking like an old hag. I won't age prematurely because of these life suckers. I will be sad and cry my eyes out but o well. I need to enjoy life and if I stay here any longer I feel my life will be cu short so out with the old and in with the new.