Procrastination

REALLY

Happy Happy New Year!

2015! Let's get it baby!!! New year. New beginnings, New life. New Me! New You! *Cheers*

Sacrifice

I love Evanescence!

Can You See What I see?

Even through all the turmoil, I can still see. Do you see what I see? I see a better life. A life where I am fully in control. Then again, even when you feel fragmented you really are whole because remember things are not always what the seem. Sometimes you just have to take a step back and look at and beyond the physical. Sit down with  that piece of paper and take note. Answer the Questions as follows:

1. Am I where I want to be in my life?
2. Am I holding myself back?
3. Am I allowing others to hold me back? Question 2&3 are all on you. You are in control either way. Do You See it?
4. Why do I feel stuck?
5. Am I really stuck?
6. What can I do to gut unstuck? You are already doing it! Your asking the right questions and it is up to you to give the honest answers.
7. Do you feel obligated to stay out of guilt? You owe no one anything and they don't owe you even if you feel like they do.
8. Do I want to be here at this place in my life 5 years from?
9. What dreams and goals have I had yet to accomplish? It is never to late. Time is an illusion.

Time to start believing and doing. Remember, You can create the reality you want.

WHY?!

I give everyone in this house the respect that they deserve (big or little) and they just want to walk all over me. Why? I am tired. I am so sick and tired! Just two more god forsaken months. I will get through it. I am determined. I just keep getting hit with all of this bad energy from people in and out of my house. It is one hing to have to deal with the outsiders but to have to come home and get hit with the bad energy as well, I can't do it. There is only so far the car can go even if you do fill it up all the way. Somewhere along the way you have to stop and fill up. Where can I refill? *singing Elle Varner* Can I get a refill?  ♫  ♪  ♫  Can I get a re-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e- fill? REALLY CAN I? But it is all good. I am not worried because the creator keeps me grounded so I will fall back a little in my own life and watch how it all plays out for them because as for me and my well being I am determined to see to it that I am okay even if no one else cares. Goodmorning America.

Finally!

I finally figured out how to fix my time zone. Thank you lord! Just wanted to share. O.k. Bye.

The Law Of Attraction

VISUALIZATION

What you focus on, you attract. The reason this is true is simple. Even though we are not consciously aware of it, we live in an immense quantum sea of vibrating energy that is ever responsive to how and what we think. Our thoughts are forever trying to express themselves in our lives. Our thoughts are creative forces, and the sooner we realize this, the sooner we can begin designing our lives with clarity and purpose.

How can we use this reality in our lives? Again the answer is simple. Focus daily on what you want. And here is where Mind Power techniques can come to your assistance. The Mind Power system consists of easily learned techniques that help you focus and direct your thoughts. The first technique I want to teach you is visualization.

Visualization is simply mental rehearsal. You create images in your mind of your having or doing whatever it is you want. You repeat these images over and over again. I suggest to my students that they practice this technique for five minutes each day. In your five-minute practice, you use your imagination to see yourself being successful, closing the deal, having the relationship, healing the illness—whatever the goal is that you wish to manifest. The key to remember when visualizing is to always visualize that you already have the thing you want. This is a mental trick. You don’t hope you’ll achieve it, or build confidence that some day it will happen. No, with the visualization technique you “live and feel it” as if it is happening to you now. Now on one level you know this is just a mental trick, but here is an important truth to understand. The subconscious mind cannot distinguish between what is real and what is imagined. Your subconscious will act upon the images you create within, regardless of whether those images reflect your current reality or not.

Does it work? Ask Arnold Schwarzenegger. “It’s all in the mind,” says Arnold, who is five-time winner of the Mr. Universe title, a successful real estate tycoon, movie star, and now governor of California. Arnold has it made, but it wasn’t always so. Arnold can remember when he had nothing except a belief that his mind was the key to getting where he wanted to go.

“The mind is really so incredible. Before I won my first Mr. Universe title, I walked around the tournament like I owned it. I had won it so many times in my mind, the title was already mine. Then when I moved on to the movies I used the same technique. I visualized daily being a successful actor and earning big money.”

What worked for Arnold will work for you. I know this because I have taught this system to millions of people worldwide and have seen the results. It’s not magic and it doesn’t happen overnight, but if you persist in your vision, you will achieve it.  What you focus on, you attract.

                                                                     -John Kehoe

Here's To The Future

I wake up with the intentions of having a good day and being of service to others but then I am plagued with thoughts of yesterdays' yesterday. I have tried affirmations but not being consistent does not help. I have tried the magical method that I came up with of burning a long strand of hemp or black yarn while reciting words to rid myself of the negative thinking. Sad to say after burning myself (trial and error) the first time I did it only one other time after that. What do you have to feel so guilty about? You may ask. Well, let's just say life is not going my way. As much as I try for others I still get ass to kiss. Regret! I think about being alone a lot and how much time I've wasted on losers. Regret! I think about how many years I have wasted dreaming instead of doing. Regret! So you see I have a lot of regret built up inside of me. I know with age comes wisdom and today I asked God to help me to accept that there are things I just can't change (past) and to give me the strength (mind), understanding, and overstanding to move forward into a better tomorrow. I am tired of people hurting me and abusing my good nature. This is the making of a bitter person but I refuse. I will become the woman I see when I close my eyes. I will be ready when the time comes to assume that position in the life of the person (be it man or woman)who deserves me. Until then, I will be here to vent. 

Rudy

You were the one. 
The one that made me think twice. 
The one who revived me and once again gave me a life.
You were the one. 
The one who made me put the blade down.
The one who made me put back on my crown.
The one who made me want to settle down.
I thought it was over.
I thought I was through with love but then the most high came through with his love and what he stood for and showed me a new kind of love.
Love stricken and now I am sick for days because just as fast as you came I found a way to push you away.
Old McDonald to the Howard Vernon the feel good times just kept on rollin.
So use to the lames that I didn't now how to act. 
Now I know the difference between a real man and a little boy.
Now I know what I will not settle for.
I don't have to.
Not anymore.
Rudy. 

Anybody Need Love?

If anyone knows what it is like to be lonely, I do. It seems as if for the longest I have been giving myself to those who really don't deserve it. Why do I settle? You must be feeling the same way if you have landed on my page so tell me if this sounds familiar.  I had friends who would have men, one after the other, who they would play with (sometimes 3 in one night) and these guys of course not knowing about one another, they would spoil them by giving them whatever they wanted. These guys would actually want to build something with them but they (my friends) were not interested in love and the whole bit. They just wanted some cash and to bust a nut fast. So here I am looking like the hater (let you all tell it from the way I just worded this) but really I am sitting here trying to analyze this shit. Here I am the good girl who actually wants the long worn out and seen through American dream but the guys who seem to want the same fall for the whores. Yes they were my friends but I have to call it what it is. If it looks like a duck and quacks like one, well...it is one. I know some of you can relate to what I am saying. I always want the best for people so I never wished anything but the best for them. However, it did upset me to see these men (black at that) become damaged goods because of the games my then friends played on them. That is the making of heartless bitter black man. It is unfortunate but true. Also, for anyone who thinks I am trying to make this about race I really am not but to know the state of emergency my people are in and how people are so quick to portray us in a negative light versus our white counterparts in the media where they are in love and doing well, I just have to bring it up and let it be known that it is not always the mothers fault but some of these heartless women who just don't give a damn! They play on the wallet and heartstrings of these men which turns them cold leaving women like myself to ponder. The answer to the why? is seen in the above.

*To Be Continued*

New Day

Today is a new day. Whenever I am blessed with the ability to wake up and see a new day I try to remind myself to be grateful because somebody else may not have gotten the opportunity to. Someone may not have had the strength to stay and decided it was time to go or maybe the creator felt this person had done what they needed and now it is time to move on. Either way, I have dreams and goals that I want to accomplished and I hope to see come to pass in this lifetime. However, While currently under the same roof as my mother I sometimes just want to run and hide. I keep thinking to myself just two more months and I am on my way to freedom and being able to get it together mentally, emotionally, and physically because I have just been falling apart in this war zone. Amazing how the same people who claim to want nothing but the best for you are the ones who are doing all the planning behind the scenes with your enemies. I wonder what will come of these people when I leave. Will they just wallow in their own misery? Seems more than likely. I have been the punching bag for too long and the tomfoolery is coming to an end. When the enemy knows you see him but you don't SEE him, he will fight harder than ever to bring you down. So I tell myself get ready for your come up baby. Get ready. I say this to myself and imagine my grandmother there. 

Who Am I?

Who Am I? Do You Really Wanna Know? Well, When I figure It Out I Will l Let You Know.