Here's To The Future

I wake up with the intentions of having a good day and being of service to others but then I am plagued with thoughts of yesterdays' yesterday. I have tried affirmations but not being consistent does not help. I have tried the magical method that I came up with of burning a long strand of hemp or black yarn while reciting words to rid myself of the negative thinking. Sad to say after burning myself (trial and error) the first time I did it only one other time after that. What do you have to feel so guilty about? You may ask. Well, let's just say life is not going my way. As much as I try for others I still get ass to kiss. Regret! I think about being alone a lot and how much time I've wasted on losers. Regret! I think about how many years I have wasted dreaming instead of doing. Regret! So you see I have a lot of regret built up inside of me. I know with age comes wisdom and today I asked God to help me to accept that there are things I just can't change (past) and to give me the strength (mind), understanding, and overstanding to move forward into a better tomorrow. I am tired of people hurting me and abusing my good nature. This is the making of a bitter person but I refuse. I will become the woman I see when I close my eyes. I will be ready when the time comes to assume that position in the life of the person (be it man or woman)who deserves me. Until then, I will be here to vent.